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Dear Stinko,
I heard Charles Mingus taught his cat to use a toilet. Have you considered the toilet as a place to drop off your unmentionables?
- Curious Reader About Potties
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Dear CRAP,
It is true. Charles Mingus, the great bassist and composer managed to train his kitty Puffball to use the toilet. Personally, I find it a little offensive to drink and poo in the same place. But that's just me.
-Stinko
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Dear Stinko,
When you go on tour who feeds Mike? And when you fart on stage how does it effect your groove?
-SK
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Dear SK,
Caring for Mike is quite easy. I just leave a giant bowl of General Tso's Chicken and the toilet seat up. As far as farting on stage, that's just wrong SK, it's wrong.
-Stinko
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Dear Stinko,
I want proof that a tree in the woods, with nobody around, makes a sound when it falls. Can you help me in my quest?
-"Listening" for answersWayne, PA
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Dear Listening,
Some poor sap actually recorded a tree falling in the woods while nobody was around. Here it is:
Tree falling in the forest when nobody's there sound file
here's the website: www.getodd.com
Enjoy,
The Stink man
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Dear Stinko,
What's the deal with you and Paris Hilton? Are the rumors true that you may be replacing Mike Savino as her new boy toy?
-GossipGal
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Dear Gossip Gal,
You know, I've been getting this one a lot because of our appearance together at the Santa Clause 3 premiere in Singapore. Paris and I no longer speak because of her ongoing attemps to dress me like a 6 year old girl. Mike has discontinued contact for the same reason.
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Dear Stinko,
What was the name of the gay bar in the police academy series?
Loveh - port jeff, NY
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Dear Loveh,
Isn't this what google is for? Do I look like Jeeves?
I am obviously much better looking. Ask him, he definately knows.
-Stinko
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Dear Stinko,
When you are home alone do you ever feel the need to throw Garden Tool Massacre into the VCR???
-Nameless murder victim
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Dear NMV
First and foremost, I am seriously honored that you have returned from the dead in order to log on and visit our fine web site. It is unfortunate, but I never seen this cult horror classic film because it has been banned by the FCC for unnecessary violence involving a hoe. My captor would greatly appreciate any available information and would gladly post a clip of this fine piece of American cinema if at all possible. Please contact us post haste.
-Stinko
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Hey Stinko!
Help! I got knocked up by a giant mouse! Any advice?
Bumped - UWS
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Dear Bumped,
Ahh . . . liquor fueled love affairs. Fly by night romance ending with the most enduring of souvenirs. Thanks to our hyper-advanced governmental installment, women have the right to choose. I suggest that you head down to your local catholic church for the most relevant and up-to-date adversaries in the business. I hope you learned your lesson. Disney is not to be reckoned with.
-Stinko
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Dear Stinko,
When you smell a rat, does your ESP tell you in advance whether or not it's the two-legged vs four-legged kind of rodent?
VW - Queens, NY
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Dear VW,
If by two-legged rodent, you mean Republican than shame on you VW. I stopped taking ESP in the seventies. It really did a number on my short term memory.
Plus, we live in New York City, which is basically a rodent free society.
-Stinko
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Dear Stinko,
How do you deal with your owner being on tour? What do you do on those lonely days?
Momma Arl - Nesconset, NY
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Dear Momma Arl,
Well, I usually start my mornings with a quick nip. I head down to the OTB and play the ponies for a while. If I get lucky, I go to the bar. If I don't, I go to the bar anyway but I'm not that happy about it.
-Stinko
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Dear Stinko,
When will the swelling go down and the itching stop?
-j - brooklyn, NY
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Dear J,
Well, the Lord knows we've all been there. That's why I created Stinko Brand All-Purpose Anti-Itch Cooling Salve available at fine retailers and truck-stops across the greater U.S. Pick some up today.
Good Luck with that,
-Stinko
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Dear Stinko,
Why do bad things happen to good people ?
Minnie - Minneapolis,MN |
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Dear Minnie,
Bad things happen to good people because if only good things happened to good people then by default bad things would only happen to bad people thus rendering the good people bad and the bad people good or . . . there are no bad people.
Peace and Love - Stinko
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